Throwback | Please
Be Nice
[Commentary by Christeen Akkarawatte]
The word nice, I realise, tends to be taken
very lightly; but it actually holds a lot of weight. From what I am used to, I
know that being nice or kind to people is just a general thing to do - it’s the
basic-of-the-basic thing you know about interpersonal skills. Being nice also
comes in varying degrees like being cooperative and understanding.
But do we actually see that in workplaces? Even
if we are in a competitive environment, we still do have to be a nice person.
Sometimes kindness is seen as a weakness but you actually gain respect from
people and a good reputation! People would want to speak to you more because
hey, you’re nice!
Asking for help is also often seen as a
weakness, but actually, it shows that you have made sense of the task or
problem and you are aware that you do need a hand. This sort of reflexivity
shouldn’t be looked down upon. But then again, you need to remember to ask
nicely.
In the following article by Rhiannon Richardson,
the author realises how being nice and asking for help is actually rarer than
they had thought.
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If you want something doing, do it yourself. Or
so goes the saying. I don’t believe this. I think, if you want something doing,
just ask nicely!
Nice. It might be a boring word but the act of
being it, holds a lot of power. I’ve noticed recently that we have started
commenting when people are nice. I was served by someone in a shop at the
weekend. She smiled, gave us a warm greeting, offered us help and we had a good
chat. When we left the shop I said to my friend, ‘Wow, wasn’t she nice?!’ Why
did I feel the need to comment on the fact that she was nice? Because being
nice has stopped being the norm. And that makes me sad.
We all long for niceness. The dictionary
defines nice as “pleasing, agreeable, delightful, amiably pleasant, (and)
kind”. All qualities that we impress on our children from a young age. We all
know we should be nice, so why aren’t we?
Perhaps social media is to blame? The internet
has given everyone a voice but often these voices aren’t very nice. Mean
comments are made from behind a computer or mobile phone screen. And meanness spreads. Just
read the comments celebrities Instagram feeds. Once one toxic comment is made,
there are 100.
Niceness needs to be a culture, which is when
it applies to the work place. Employees in companies who endorse a more kind
office culture (think: not living in fear of a shouty, angry boss or worrying
that your colleagues are all out to get you) have been shown to work more
effectively, be physically healthier, and are more motivated to do good work.
Being nice won’t just make the people you’re
nice to feel better, it will have a positive impact on you. So if you can’t
cope with being nice just to make other people feel good, think about this:
people are more likely to not just to like you more if you’re nice, but they
will trust and respect you more. And if you ask someone to do something,
they’re much more likely to do it willingly and do a good job of it if you ask
them nicely.
Another saying suggests that nice guys finish
last. I refuse to believe that!
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